This is supposed to be a humourous poem for those with a mathematical bent, as they say. Some of the mathematical concepts may be a little controversial, but I am happy to discuss that with any mathematicians or wannabes like myself. Hopefully someone will find it amusing – one ‘like’ would be enough to make my day. In terms of style, I would say that it’s a typically English piece of stupidity reminiscent of the type of poetry I once read in a book at school called “Verse and Worse”. If anyone has that book I’d love to borrow it!
Number
Number is a concept that really counts, and one that’s vastly underrated
Most Numbers we use are relatively small, those we don’t may seem complicated
Even Zero, to most people, means Nothing, yet, in its absence, no logic exists
Often defined as the opposite of Something, from its everyday use, we cannot desist
But Something is a quantity Indefinite, it might be a Number that’s Complex
And it might, or might not, be Finite, contrary to most human reflex
For all Numbers are in reality Complex, but their Imaginary parts may be Nought
This truth is most often neglected, before comprehension is sought
All Complex Numbers have a Real part, which, again, to Zero may be Equal
Their understanding is both science and art, and there follows many a logical sequel
An Imaginary Number has no Real component, and the inverse is true, we feel
But, when raised to an Imaginary Power, the result can be surprisingly Real
When Zero is divided by Nothing, the result is a known unknown
This Uncertainty may be disconcerting, but its truth is most easily shown
For Zero multiplied by a Finite expression, has an Infinitesimal solution
So, by logical, legitimate inversion, we can prove this profound proposition
When solving some cubic equations, Complex Numbers become essential
As do trigonometric relations. How Pythagoras has proved providential!
The Number of Infinities is Infinite, and there are Infinities of different dimensions
For example, the number of points in a line, is greater than all Natural extensions
But Infinity is not just a Number, it can be a quasi-religious thing
That arouses philosophers from slumber, and causes church choirs to sing
We give numbers to all that we own, and measure what others possess
To ensure that our relative wealth is known, and to announce our rate of success
When Nothing is added to Something, that Something remains as before
Anything multiplied successively by One, will stay as it is ever more
A Finite taken from its Infinite brother, yields an Infinite Number that’s less
But an Infinite Number taken from another, leaves an Undefined, mathematical mess
To count the grains of sand on a beach, you need to count faster than their production
For a Number beyond calculation’s reach, is incapable of Finite reduction
Even the notion of Negative Number, has posed problems for the church
But science has shown its domination, and left the dubious, again, in the lurch
Infinity and Complex have done the same, literal believers are completely discarded
Incapable of finding someone to blame, for their thinking is so clearly retarded
By the time you have read this drivel, whatever your intellectual pretention
Someone out there will have started to snivel, beyond all rational comprehension